Tag: pain

Present Day , Chicago , USA

I am is __________ . its not important ! , age ____ .  its  not important either . me , standing right here in the middle of the boxing ring. till yesterday I had madding crowd cheering over me , till yesterday I had my entire crew motivating me, till yesterday I had lot of money in my bank account, I had fame, luxury , everything in the world a man can asked for, till yesterday I had one lovely wife with one beautiful daughter, till yesterday I was everything I can be.

Things have changed now.

Yesterday I won my first Boxing championship. I am a champion , you pick up today’s news paper you will see my name with my belt and my picture on the front page. you will see the list of contracts and the endorsement companies which are ready to sign me and want to use me to make millions. my tough face and tough body is strong enough to take any pain as it took enough during my boxing career. my image as a family man has inspired others to become tough to face the rough circumstances with confidence. I am a simple man down to earth and I have great fan following.

          But why this has become important for me that you know this ? only because my life has become a paper without a word ,since someone who has used me to write its world on it , is not here anymore. so what’s the point of having all this when there is no one close to you to share. this world has become a business for me , people are around me not because they love me but because they love themselves and its their selfishness which allow them to use me for their benefit and so far they have been successful.

My story ,oh yes my story may be I should not tell you. or may be I should tell you since I am celebrity and may come good to some gossip magazine to publish and make another millions from it. may be I should publish my story on my website. may be I should not do anything. I don’t know.  I don’t know how I think and what should I do , I am clueless and i am on the edge, yes on the edge ,no where to go , can’t go back in time and can’t go forward , it seems as if everything has stopped.

How does it matter to you ?

Yes i am a boxer and its my passion. this should matter to you.

I was happily married to one lovely wife who used to take care of me. it was a love marriage and i was happy with her and she was happy with me. we were together for the past 4 years and we had so much love between each other. after 4 years of love we decided to marry and decided to stay together forever. it was mutual decision since we both trusted each other and had faith that we will never leave each other. we had so strong bonding. we married and decided to make our new world from the beginning , the kind of world we wanted for ourselves and for our children. she was educated and mature in thoughts which had always impressed me. me being a brat in attitude she was always there to make things right and to make them favorable. she was always there for me. i had a regular job from 9 am – 5pm which i was doing with decent pay scale, nothing flashy. it was good to have good lifestyle, if not luxurious. i only wanted a happy home . to me a happy family is of husband wife , one daughter and son and a dog and one small beautiful home. this is something which has been a definition for me for a happy family.

After a year my wife gave birth to a beautiful daughter , i was a father for the first time in my life and it was an amazing experience , now i had responsibilities more than before , i had a wife and daughter to take care of, my daughter was lovely. she was so charming and so vibrant. at birth for the first time when i holded her my arms. she grabbed my finger with her so tiny arms. it was so lovely , my eyes were wet and my wife was smiling as she felt emotions between me and my daughter. i decided not to leave my daughter ever , me her father has to be always there for her , she needs me , i need to make sure that her father makes his presence till his last breadth.

We came home like one happy family. we cooked food and slept. me being a passionate lover , I have always given pure love to my lovely wife. she had always endured the fact that me being so masculine has always empowered her with inner strength and passion. i have always loved her every day and every night and leaving her asking for more, she  has given me pleasure. it was no better life i had asked for , passionate wife with one passionate husband and one lovely daughter. life was happy.

Gradually as i started taking responsibilities things started feeling like every thing is less around me, i wanted more , i wanted more than what i have right. to give better life to my wife and to my daughter it was important for me to strive for best as i was able to do so. i had to use my every drop of blood to make sure that my wife daughter breathe easily. though they were not asking for anything but me being a man had to go and get more. it was my love for my family which motivated to go for more than what we have now. so i decided to take a step and not to stop.

           I had one passion , painful passion of boxing. boxing , being my favorite sport had always invited me to boxing ring. but i was a strong man and regular to gym so it was easy for me to become a boxer . all i wanted , a training to enhance my skills in boxing. to become a better boxer. i had to bring that tough ness in me which boxers have. may be my wife will not like my idea of being a boxer, but the idea was to make them happy and to bring more money to home to bring more happiness and to bring more more and more. i had made up my mind and there was no looking back for me.

I joined boxing coaching classes and used to take it in the evening after work. i had sacrificed my time with my family to make sure that i get what i wanted . after all, i had to take pain to make my and my loved ones life better tomorrow. i took tough training in boxing and i remember i was changing. there was a change in my attitude. now there was less smile on my face and my body language had become tough. less laugh , no fun and less love to my wife. all the time i was thinking about my passion and to get more. i think i did little too much and failed to keep balance between passion and family life. i guess i was making a mistake and i did not realize it that time. i hope if i had but it wasn’t so.

One day one of my friend at work asked me about my boxing classes. I told him its going fine , he said do you know how to make money from boxing ? I said yes , I will join some club and will participate in boxing matches and will make money like that. he said No ! you will have to prove yourself that you are good enough to take pain more than you give, if you can take the beating and still stand tall ,you will win. I said alright , what I have to do to prove myself ? he gave me an address of an underground boxing club which used to take place at downtown Chicago. I decided to submit my application to take part in the boxing matches. after few weeks , day of my first boxing match came. my opponent was very strong . in the first look he looked like a winner. but I was too iron steel will man. no one betted over me but I knew if I will give everything into it I can win. this is the moment I was waiting for and its my night. I gave my all into the match and it was a close fight. I won the bout and it was happened to be my first bout. after the first win it was straight 6 losses to me. but I never gave up and kept on loosing. but I some how managed to catch people’s attention and I was the talk of the town. not because I had lost 6 straight matches but because of the ability to take pain. I had made my way to the right people but this came with the sacrifice in family life.

I had to participate in the first ever underground boxing championship and it was a knockout tournament with no prelims ,only one to one bouts and the one who wins the fight go one step further and the one who looses go home. interesting format and I was ready for it. fortunately I won my all the bouts and made it to the top. a night before my final match , I could not sleep at home , I went to my daughter’s room while she was sleeping. I sat right next to her looked at her lovely face and small body which I wanted to take care of, I thought this the person I am fighting for and I love her . she was my daughter. I went to my room , my lovely wife on bed sleeping. I saw her sleeping and may be dreaming about something , I don’t know what it was. but she was at peace. I was happy. I kissed her , touched my lips to hers. gave her a butterfly kiss. thought this is someone I can die for. I love her so much and I can’t live without her and what ever pain I am taking for her , Is the pain I don’t regret for. after pain there is always a happiness as life do become nice and easy. I was ready for this , I had to give this life to my family .

My wife knew that I am going for a fight the day when I had a fight. I ate my breakfast kissed my wife and daughter and left for the finals. I did not call my wife that day and I knew that she was anxious and uneasy as what will going to happen. so I decided not to contact her and waited till evening for the fight. In the dressing room I slept peacefully till evening after the training session. at 5 pm I woke up ,took shower and got ready  to fight. it was 5 minutes to fight when I had to leave my dressing room. I was ready ,this is the moment I was waiting for , this was the time I had been dreaming about. I had to give it all , not only for myself but for the people I loved , my family , my wife and my daughter. I had always thought about giving them good life and this was the time when I had to give my shot to make it all happen, this was the moment which had to decide a break up or make up. it had to happen tonight. I left the dressing room to be in the boxing arena.my opponent was strong, but I knew that I am better than him , I was faster than him , I was more advanced than him in fighting techniques, I was able to take more pain than him. five round fight was about to happen in 10 seconds. I looked deeply into my opponents eyes. I said to him in mind ” that I respect him for what he is , I respect him for his power and strength, I respect him for all he has given up to become a world champion, I respect him for his love to his family but tonight is not the night where he will emerge as winner, it has to be my night and I am more stronger than him tonight, I am more deadly than ever I have been”.

After 5 rounds of deadly fight we both were in the pool of blood. it was a fight to remember for both of us. it was a night to remember. crowd had witnessed an amazing war between two strongholds. it was a live broadcast on local television and had media all around. I knew it was my night , my moment , I was on the top of the world. why ? yes I was a winner. I emerged as a winner in an underground boxing championship. I was the strongest on this planet , I felt like a king. I won a prize money $ 5 million. I knew this is what I wanted to give my family a better life. I wanted to give them everything in the world they had ever wished for. I had it now and it was time for me to share it with my family.

I was in pain as my ribs were broken and my jaw was dislocated. my head was aching  but all this pain was small when I  knew that the pleasure of seeing my daughter and wife at home is unmatched. so after the treatment from the doctors at the location , I went straight to my home to see my wife and daughter. I was impatient to see my family as soon as possible and to share this news with them that I had won. I reached my door. I was about to ring the bell but I stopped , because I saw a rose at the door , a red rose, I remember this one .this was the rose I gave it to my wife when I proposed her. why it was here now ? I had no clue. the door was unlocked and open , I went inside, I called my wife and daughter but there was no one to answer. I looked all around but the home was empty . it looked like that my wife had left home with my daughter. she was gone. I had family no more. she was not there, she someone I loved , had left me with no reason. or may be there was a reason which I failed to understand but she was not there , it was a reality.

          My wife had taken all her clothes along with my daughters. she had taken all her things as if she will never return. but why did she do that ? where I went wrong ? was I wrong in my approach ? was my attitude wrong ? was I too selfish ? was I too greedy ? did I neglect my family ? I had no answers. I guess I was left alone to do some analysis of the situation . I guess I was left alone to realize that what I have lost to gain another. to realize value of what I don’t have now may be was an idea. but I was alone . I had no one to share it with anyone , the joy , the pleasure, all this pain I took and the torture I had gone through for being away from my family . I had no one to understand that, I had to deal with it alone now. I have everything in the world today , at this moment, but I don’t have , what happens to be most precious to me. my people , my wife and my daughter. they were gone. where ? she never left me a note. does she expect me to find her ? my be not. I will not go searching for her. if I am important to her , she will come to me again. I want her to know that I loved her the most and I still and always love her the way I loved her for so many years. she is mine and will always be mine. she will come to me I know , when ? I don’t have a clue. I am hopeful that she will return to me. she will. I love you baby . I will always love you.

In the fight of Passion and Love I don’t what won , I guess whoever won but I had lost, I lost !