I come alone


Its been five years . yes you read it correct , 5 . its a long time . very long . in a number its only 5 but to me its a long time . in these five years the world has change significantly . I have changed , you have changed. I was supposed to visit you every single year , every single Christmas , every single new year and every single birthdays . every year I think that I will visit you this year . will celebrate your birthday with you. or Christmas with you or new year with you . but every year its a same story. I just cant come by .

I love you and I love your country , your people and your language and your culture , its my second home . I may have left you but I still breathe in the same air . it feels like the same fragrance . the smell of your skin is still there with me .  I can still tell you how the breath of you feels like , I can feel your touch . your kiss and the feeling of me deep in you . making love to you with passion. those French kisses we had , those troubled sessions we had . those fights and confusions and adventure . I miss all that baby . do you ?

its been 5 years since I have last visited you and 8 years when I kissed you last . it was way back in 2011. but it all still feels the same . feels like it was yesterday .

I don’t cry baby , I don’t cry anymore . I am fine but I love you . what I can do . I love you . I just love you . and trust me I will die one day . but yes the love and emotions and the moments we had together will remain.

you are such a lovely woman and I was so lucky . and I was so happy and my family was also so happy , but I don’t know what happened , I forgive you baby . I really do .

I want to kiss you now and I want to hold you in my arms again , I don’t know if this will happen or not but its like a distant dream . you allowed me to kiss you and to make love to you . I touched your body , your skin , your lips and caress your hair and stroked you with passion. the sound of your love can be heard again. coz I want to .

I want to come to you again baby . trust me every single year I want to come to you . give me a chance I will stay with you forever . I will love you trust me , our little baby and a lovely dog and a cat and little sweet home . our small world full of passion and joy and happiness and smile and love . I dream of this world . don’t you baby ?

you do , I know you do . you are no stone ,you are my baby .

every time I see a plane in the sky . I think of you . I think that I am in this plane going to my baby . I am going to visit her , will meet her , will see her again , will hold her hands again and kiss her again. she is so lovely . how can I live my life without you my lady . I just can’t .

I will come to you my girl. I just cant say when , right now . but I will for sure. you can count on me . may be dolce is busy with something important . if dolce is not visiting you then it has to be something important , but nothing is more important to me than you my baby .

I love you so as I come alone .


The wedding Ring which I never gave you

Yes this is true . remember the day we met in September 2013 . its been four long years . but its still with me . this is what I was carrying in my pocket . I had this hiding in my pocket and I never told you about it in advance . I wanted to give this to you on the day of our meeting after 2 long years . I was kind of foolish who had hopes that you will accept my ring but I think I was right by not giving it to you . it was not the right time and not the right occasion . you were with someone else . you loved another man after me . there was someone else in your life. and I was aware about it .

I don’t know why I purchased this . I don’t know what I was thinking . I think I was confident that you will come to me , was confident that once you will see me you will change , I was positive that once we will meet things will turn good . I think this much how I pride our love and our sacrifices for each other.  the pain and the joy we went through together , the time we had spent with each other from 5000 km distance , every single day did not go by thinking about each other and when we both managed to had time for each other even when we knew there is a time difference . that was incredible . those days were amazing . can’t be forgotten . can’t fade from my memory . at least !

That day , I don’t remember the day but it was September 2013 . and I remember the café we met coz I had some fond memories of that café back in dec 2011 . it’s one of my fav place to visit. and I will visit again soon . I was very nervous that day . I was tensed and I had no idea how you will react to see me . coz I knew you never wanted me to visit you . I knew that you do not love me anymore . had no emotions , had no feelings. but I do not know why I had hopes that things can still change for good . I was with my friend that day , I asked her to drop me to the café. we travelled by train to reach there . I was nervous and tensed , she realized this and said , you be fine . don’t worry .

Once off the train she showed me the path way or street which leads to café. once I was there I knew my destination coz I had visited this place earlier and had good memories but I was still very nervous coz of your unpredictable nature. so I entered I gave my jacket at the counter and asked a woman that I had a friend who is waiting for me here . she pointed out in right hand direction from the stairs , I started coming down but I guess you had already heard my voice and here you were . you were there right in front of me . right there . you came for me and you hugged me . it was the moment when I felt like time stopped . I realized , this is the woman I fought so much for , with people , with government . all for what ? only for my love for her. I had given you my promise that I will fight this world for you . I still live this promise .

You hugged me . that was the warm hug I waited so long for . it was a moment which came after a long wait . all this fight which I fought in last 2 years was to have a moment of hug which did not even last for 5 sec and a meeting which last not more then 2 hours. but I think it was a fight worth fought . I had earned my moment with you . and here I was with you . it was my time . I had earned that time . yes you were unhappy to see me , you were angry . but I guess I had win coz you were there for me without your desires .I had pushed you to come and meet me and I still remember the text you had sent a day before saying that meeting is not a good idea so lets not meet but I being assertive wanted to meet and you had surrendered.

Its not about win or loose its about who honesty and loyalty and I think I scored on this well . coz I was loyal I was honest and trust me on this I am still the same .

I had this ring with me in my pocket which I had for you . I had plans to give it to you . but I knew I will not give it to you coz you will not accept it . I never gave it to you coz I still loved you and wanted to marry you . wanted to have kids and I wanted you to be my wife and mother of my babies , a dream which we had cherished for so long. I wanted to marry you . you were my baby. my love . but there was someone else in your life , some other man better than me I guess . you were also never the best for me . and you never will . no one is perfect . no one ever will. we all compromise somewhere or the other . and we both did, out of emotions , out of love we had for each other.

I had honest time with you that day , listening to you was the only thing I ever wanted. a lot had happened in your life after you left me . your brother got married and I was not invited , its ok . you had a car now a good job and you looked so lovely and charming ,just like good old days . you were still so young and beautiful . I wanted to say I love you , wanted to give that ring to you . but I knew this ring will remain in my pocket. so I kept it very close to my heart. conversation was over . it started formal but spending two hours with you I guess had some emotions in your heart for me so you were little close and then very close . I think it was the strength of my love for you. may be an unseen force. and I am sorry baby you paid for tea that day . I had my credit card with me but if you remember the console did not work and you had to pay cash , it was bad , I was not happy .

So we left holding hands just like old days, and I wondered love is the biggest force in the universe after time . I guess you honored the fact that we had honest and pure love for each other ,irrespective of being from different countries and had different languages and cultures . I think it was amazing .

I dropped you to your car. and I knew this is it , the time has come to part ways , those 2 hour or so were felt like 2 years passed by . I had waited patiently so long for this and it has come to an end. and I remember two hours ago you were not ready to kiss me but two hours later you kissed me . that was the power of love .

That day time had stopped for me and when I said good bye to you and saw your car going far and far from me I knew this day might not come again . but as always a fighter never gives up and fights till the end . and with hopes high I left , walking down the street back to the train station I came from.

Hiding the ring in my pocket which was meant for you and will always be yours.

I will always love you even when you are not young and beautiful , right now I am on a rescue mission , once this is over I will create my moment again , I will come back to you .

You know me .


Your Love was a LIE ?

Emotional Sad Love shayari for X girlfriend in hindi

I don’t know why but your love was a lie.

I cherish the memories deep in my heart. I still have those pics and videos and I see your pics or ours or I see those videos we created out of no where . when we deeply in love. those moments we shared together , those times when we cooked together. those days we lived together. we drove around and we saw a movie in Russian . I remember how we went to this cinema hall somewhere in the city center and I knew that it will be dubbed in Russian but I was ok with it coz language was a never a border to me.

To me love sees no boundaries . just like music knows no language . I never came to you seeing I will be dating an international woman or a woman from another country who is a commoner in her country but to me she is nothing less than a star. you have always been a star to me . you were my baby . my motivation my angel and my source of course .my ambition my pain my joy , my anguish and my everything . you were everything to me . I loved you , I loved a woman , a human.

I have not forgotten anything but sadly you have . out of sight out of mind. oh baby what have you done . why did you do this ? it still haunts me . I still wonder and I still think why ? what was my fault ? was my fault that I loved you and my fault is that I still love you . I loved you so much , and honestly I still love you so much from the bottom of my heart . you were never gone for me . you are always near to me , always close to my heart . close to me on the bed side. as close to me as I breathe air to live . and your love is a source of power which still drives me . you are my strength and you are my everything , my soul , my body .

Do you still remember anything baby ? do you ? or am I just another guy who came into your life ,lived with you shortly , gave you amount of time to enjoy and disappeared ? was my love a lie or fake to you ? was my love inadequate ? or I was physically unattractive baby ? tell me ?

May be I was not good enough for you . yes I know that you were taller to me . I know I was not a big guy you always wanted. I had not six pack abs or huge biceps or broad chest and I was not fair looking , yes I don’t have tons of money. but baby I had love for you and I had strength to fight for you with this world . and trust i can still fight and i am still fighting .I had desires and dreams for you and for our family . I always wanted a family . a small happy family , our small world , where you me and our two little children , one boy one girl to make a complete family and yes not to forget a cat and a dog to add. a car to drive around , to play a small play ground . I had planned all this . I created a world for us and was ready to build it but you destroyed it . seriously baby you destroyed our world.

If you think our love was a one time accident then you are wrong . that’s what you called it , an accident . it was not an accident baby . there are no accident , whatever happens in this universe happens for a reason . you also parted ways with me for a reason. and those reason were your own , not mine. you left me and I never did . I still love you the way I did 5 years ago . all those memories still fresh in my mind like yesterday , and a small flat where we lived became my fav . I still admire that small living room and a bed we slept together and that little kitchen where we cooked together . a small washroom for warm water to shower. a warm lamp right next to the couch and your small fish in the bowl. all that I still miss . I still remember all those moments . I love all and I missed all.

I love you honey , I really do , you made video for me on my birthday and you said that you will support me in whatever I do but unfortunately it was only words and when I decided to stand up for you , I am still keeping with it . I am still with you . I am still your supporter , still I think of you . even today I ask you how you doing ? even today I am your well wisher. even today my love for is still alive and trust me on this when I say that my love for you is here to stay . I have not forgotten you . you are still alive in my heart and in my mind . you are out of sight but not out of mind.

Have you forgotten the amount of time we invested on skype which helped us in building our relationship. have you forgotten that you used to wait for me for long ours and I used to wait for you and we used to run from the road to our living room coz we knew that someone is waiting for us on the other side of the computer . we both used to worry about each other . we used to shared pics and images and share videos , a dress new you purchased. you wanted to show me on cam how you looked in that new dress. you wanted to see my eyes behind my glasses and you and me we both used to think about each other even when we were away . those times we shared on skype when we knew that we are both 1000’s miles apart but love was blossoming . during that time we build our world and we build the foundation of our world  . we strengthen our emotions feelings for each other . it was lovely baby . we badly wanted to meet each other , badly wanted to kiss , wanted to make love , wanted to share those thoughts and those emotions. we were in love baby .

Don’t think I am not willing to come to you . I know you don’t love me anymore and you have no emotions . now here are two different people with two different approaches towards love . I still want to come to you , want to see you in blood and flesh . want to love you , want to kiss you , want to hold your hands. want to be with you . coz I love you . don’t think that I never tried. god know how many times I tried but it’s just so difficult to come to your country baby . what should I do ? tell me ? these people don’t understand love .

Honey I love you . I really do . if you think its a lie than you are wrong . plz don’t create joke out of me and of my emotions for you . I am not causing you any problems . I am just shocked. I have forgiven you baby and  I really have . but I am with you in your thick and thin. even when you are happy and when you are in pain , or you with someone or alone , you will find me with you always .

coz my love for you was not a lie , it never will .

I Love You.


Baby have you forgotten your password


Oh my baby , I seems to love you so much . you are so adorable , so lovely , so charming , so beautiful but I never loved you for your body , I loved you for your soul which houses inside that skin.

OH! wait honey !

Have you forgotten your password ?

I know you are better , you know you are good , you know you are far better than me . I am me but you are not . I wait for you to write something , to pen down something , I wait for your words. I wait for your thoughts , I wait for your views. I want to know what’s going on in your mind. I want to know what have you thought about .

I want to know what your eyes see, I want to know how you take actions , I want to know how your body behaves. I want to know that do you feel lovely in your skin, you have a beautiful body baby , a lovely body, I still remember the smell of your skin, the touch of your body, my lips on to yours , my hands on you and yours on me , I cant seem to feel the same way again , Its magical. I loved a woman , and I still love one . and I will always love one .

But I don’t know who I love baby , I don’t who I live with ,

Not enough  love seems to be here in this world anymore , this world has gone crazy and its driving me crazy . I see people cursing each other , I see people killing each other , we cry all the time , we ignore those who need help , we ignore their tears , we hurt lovely adorable animals , we hurt those who are already been hurt enough .

I don’t want to live here anymore honey , I am tired of this world . I am hoping against hope .

But I do believe that there is a better world waiting for me . but I do hope in my world I will have you , I will be waiting for you baby .

But you seems to have forgotten your password honey .

Its alright , I hope you will unlock the door.

Unlock the door baby.