Your kind Smile

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I remember this. i took this picture when i was returning home from my friend’s house. it was a busy day and i know that we had some serious discussions about life , career and stuff, a regular and normal conversation which friends usually do. after a day out we decided to go home and have tea to relax and we took a load off from our shoulders. i knew it was time for me to leave and i left. i remember driving my car around the streets as i had lost the way. i was so occupied in my thoughts that i forgot which way i came from. now i had to return but i forgot my way home. it was not even night ,it was early evening and still sun was shinning but me i was lost.as i drove past one corner i saw something on the right. i don’t know why but i had to stop, i had to stop to take a look at it. i stopped my car and shut the engine down like i was not ready to drive anymore. what i saw was beyond was imagination yet so simple and beautiful.

To some it can be just as common as breathing but for some its a life saver. to me that evening it was indeed a life saver. it was a portrait of a baby , a child in mini dress , a frock. the baby was at its natural self. so innocent and so kind , so lovely and i felt like embracing this baby. i wish the baby was alive, i could have hugged. i really needed a hug , an embrace that evening. i was looking at this image without any undivided attention like i had no clue of what’s happening around me. who is watching , who is talking , who said what , who saw what , i had no idea. i was like an unknown and like the only one alive rest everyone was dead for me. i don’t even remember how much time i spent there at one spot with my car and looking out of the driver’s window on the right hand side where i saw this image.

Thousands of people pass this corner but no one would ever notice , no one would ever give attention to it , no one would ever care but to some it can be an event of a lifetime. it was for me. that lovely smile , kind eyes of a baby looking right at me , i felt love deep inside my mind and heart and my body was ready for change , my heart and my mind was ready for change and i was ready for change. after the busy day and mind occupied since morning with all sorts of stuff going around me i needed peace and i got one at very unexpected location , where i never ever thought would happen. it was like this baby was waiting for me , to charm me with her cute and innocent smile and it gave me strength yet again and encouraged me to not to stop no matter how tough or bad the situation is. i will not stop.

This is what a father would wait for , an embrace of his child , those little fingers around the neck and the warm of small body. those little toes when a baby starts walking for not to stop ever. those deep eyes with millions of dream in it.

A father would die for this. i want to be a father and i need a baby because i know i can be a father a baby wants and i know i can contribute to my baby life to make my baby what he/she wants to become.

I felt like a father that evening , i had to embrace this moment in my camera. i could not stop and i will never stop.

Serpent and Dove

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”I am tough i am strong i can move mountains”
he said

but he only said

So you better shut the fuck up

”I am tough i am strong i can move mountains”
he said and he showed

You are one man nobody wants to mess with.

Are you the man of your words ?

Are you the man to show that you are tougher than tough ?

Are you the man who is kind as a dove ?

If you are not then you should become one.

There is no place for sensitive people in this world.

Show them you are tough/show them you are kind

–Dolce

I care

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I care

In the rain when you cry and no one seems to notice
i will notice your tears
In the rain when you get wet and no one seems to make you warm
i will come and give you the warmth of my body
In the rain when you get hurt and no one seems to come for your rescue
i swear to god i will come for you
I love you because i care
Every single word and every single thought you say about me – ”I Care”
i care i really do because i cared you this long with my love,with my emotions and with my life.
you leave me – i will still care for you
i will always do.
i really do care

–Dolce

Be Kind

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At my work , the other side of the road there is a tea vendor, he is an old man with small tea shop on four wheels. he has regular customers. office goers , young old corporate people go to him for morning tea or evening tea. he cooks tea well , honest and loyal to his customer. I don’t know his name but I call him ‘kaka’. ‘kaka’ in Hindi is a name to an old man in respect. he often wears same clothes every day from morning to evening. he do not have enough clothes to wear since he is poor. I don’t know if he has kids or not , may be he does but they never accompany him at his tea stall. he takes care of his business alone. at night around 10 pm he leaves and put his tea stall at the parking lot of one multi million dollar company. the security guards of this company are quite generous to him to make him leave his cart at the parking lot.

This man comes to work at 6 am and leaves at 10 pm , he is an old man close to 60 years, but he is kind to every one , to his customers , no matter what conditions he works under , he never forgets his responsibility which is to be ‘kind’ to everyone.

Care_MONO         But he is not alone . he also have a pet dog which stays with him around the cart. its a street dog , not owned by anyone. a stray dog which strays around the streets for food. dirty but healthy dog. of course street dogs never take shower. so this dog is no different. he has a name too ‘ KALU’. ‘KALU’ in Hindi means black. this dog black in color is famous among people. he kind of invite people to come and drink tea. those who are kind to animals, give their love and support to the animal. in appreciation kalu also wags its tail and bark and play around people. sometimes people too offer him biscuits. its a sweet gesture and kind tale which I see every day at work. it makes my day and makes me think that human instead of being violent in nature does have the kindness in him. its the choice we make ‘we kind or we violent’ its our call what we choose and we get as what we deliver.

Kindness is a way to life. its a choice we make to be a kind person and it helps us to communicate better. human in general is more attracted to kindness. people who are kind have always invited more people in groups and are socially active. some people are kind by nature and some can cultivate this habit in them. it comes by practice. you practice kindness by being showing love and support for others. you become kind by taking an extra step to help someone. caring genuinely for others around you knowing that others too have the same kind of aspiration, goals, fears , needs and wants. its important to know that feeling the way how other’s feel is an important act to kindness because then you will know the true value of how it feel if you will go through the same.

Lets also be aware of people who carry fake kindness. an act of people pleaser is not kindness. there are plenty who are selfish and self centered. who simply kind enough to people to manipulate things and controlling them is not an act of kindness. people also use fake kindness to hide their anger and frustration behind false pleasantries is not kindness. anyone who fakes it makes himself / herself visible to people and we can recognize it. we humans are programed in such a way that we can easily guess who is faking and who is natural. lets beware of such dual personalities who make of use if their charm only to get benefit out of others. lets not be selfish this much , lets be kind to others naturally.

Its good to be kind to others but lets not forget that you too are human. I am kind man but its important for me to be kind to myself too. before I be kind to others I should be kind to myself. how I do it ? its good to know yourself better , self realization is important , no one knows you better than any other on this planet. if there is any one who claims that he / she knows everything about you , is wrong. its simply not possible to know everything about anyone. there has to be some aspect of personality which only you know about yourself but others don’t. know yourself everyday. sometimes it happens that one trait of your personality which you are unaware of accidently comes into picture and then you say ”gosh ! I did not know about this factor in me” . self knowledge is important , it allows you to study your pain and happiness ,sorry and anguish and your conflicts, it also lets you know that part of your personality which you are not aware of. focus on yourself and be kind so that you be kind enough to others.

51898530db89bkindnessWe often say that ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. but tell me how many people follow this rule ? very few right. yes indeed this is because people lack action , its because people only talk and talk all the way till its too late to do any action. so lets be present for someone who need us the most. lets make sure that we are there at all cost for the person you care the most , you love the most. if not for the one you can die ,at least you can do the same for someone who is a stranger to you by only being kind to him / her. this person will remember you always and who knows if he / she shows kindness to you also someday. help a person , go an extra mile to take further step and to make sure that you will be there. don’t make promises which you can not keep. remember you can not control everything. but you can control your actions , your words, you can control your decisions. be little calculative to understand the consequences and aftermath. be a good listener. its one of the most important aspect of being kind. listen to people , know their words and their values, understand them and then take actions and be kind.

The act of kindness come with no expectations. lets not expect people to be kind to you. in a world we live today if you are being kind to others ,its unusual. since people don’t do it regularly. but don’t think of how others are thinking of you for being kind. its an act which should always be there in us. no matter what , an act of kindness should come from inside. its source should be our soul. it should be without expectations. ask for nothing in return.

Lets not be selective in kindness. if you are neglecting being kind to someone just because you think that person will do fine without you, then you are doing selective kindness. lets not do this. lets not be selective and choose people ,whom should be kind with and whom we should not is not right. we should be kind to everyone the way we want to be to ourselves. lets not forget that same person does have fears, insecurities , problems, sorrow, pain , ambitions and goals. lets respect it and take kindness the way it should be.

Being kind is a special quality we humans are born with. we all have sense of kindness but its again comes down to what we choose. do we choose to be kind to ourselves and others or choose to be violent and control. its in our hands. but remember this always, you harm others , it will come to you , you love others it will come to you. you want kindness from people show kindness to them. you will be loved by all.

Someone said I have very sweet and kind personality . I don’t know how much is the truth in it but if it is like this then its my identity. we can never loose our identity no matter where we are. enjoy you originality like I am enjoying mine.

This Wait Seems Endless………But !

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London ,June ,1899 

It was the summer of 1899, London. i left my home for a job and the day was sunny , the sun was shining and the mood was upbeat.it was a beautiful day and i did not expect anything out of ordinary. i had no car, no cycle and i was not in a habit of using public transport since i had always liked walking alone as ”Great people walk alone”.i never liked following the crowd in the bus and going to the same place where they all are going. i always wanted to make my own path and my own way and reach where no one has reached before. i was happy this way. had no complains from anyone ,had no grudges and had no problems. i was loved by all and i was the one who stood out from the crowd in most of the occasion. so was i a celebrity ? no , I was a normal man just like others but i had one thing different , i used to carry my camera with me all the time no matter where i am going. as i had married to my camera. my camera was my second half. and that day also i was with my camera going to my work was enough for me to cook 2 times meal in a day.

While walking to my work i decided not to take my regular way that day. i don’t know why i had decided that but i guess it was my destiny ,it was in my destiny to take a turn on the left to the west side of London. i did not think about it and just took it casually. as i took left i came across a very narrow lane which was about to take me some where. it was quite narrow with walls of buildings on the left and right. kind of creepy since this passage seems untouched and very often no one used to walk through this lane. there was a fear of some kind, a fear of unknown, don’t know what but it was there. i was scared too but i was excited so i decided to follow the path to look where it leads me to. i started walking , i took left and right and then right and right again and then left again. it seemed like a puzzle to me which i was ready to solve.

After walking about 500 meters i came across a window on top right in front of me and i stopped. probably it was the most amazing site i had ever seen.so i paused where i was for a minute and had no words and my brain had stopped working. what it was ? it was a woman on the window, looking outside. she was there right in front of me. as if she was waiting for someone. was she waiting for me ? i don’t know but i was there and it seemed that she was waiting for someone to come by and this wait all seemed over for her now. i saw a smile appearing on her face. she was looking right at me and she seemed relaxed as if she was trying to say ” I was waiting for you, now you are here ,what you want to do ?” she seemed naughty to me and i was excited at the same time , how to react ? i had no clue.

It was perfect picture for me to take.

I took my camera and clicked one picture of her. she was amazing. she was beautiful , beautiful for me at least , i don’t know about rest of the world. but to me she was one of a kind. after taking her picture i smiled at her and she smiled back at me. i was happy. this all seemed like an achievement to me. and i decided to continue walking and left the zone and came out to the main road. i worked normally that day but she never left my mind , not even for a single moment. i kept on thinking about her, no matter where i was, at work and what i was doing, going through the papers or with friends i kept on thinking about her. why this was happening to me ? it never happened to me before and i don’t think that this will ever happen to me again. it was strange . i was a tough guy never to have this kind of experience but yes i had and the world i was living in had suddenly changed for me.

Yes i was in love. 

On way back to my home i again came across the same road from where i had to take left to go through that passage. is she still there ? is her window open ? is she still waiting for me ? questions came into my mind. but i was too scared to go inside and and to look at her again. what if she is not there , i will be disappointed . i decided not to keep any expectations and decided to go through the crowded road with the world on my way back to home.

I could not sleep that night. she was there in my mind all the time. this wait seems endless to me . i was waiting for the morning to come as quickly as possible because i wanted to go to work and to follow that passage again. i was expecting her to be there. i had no idea if i was wrong or right but i wanted to go , at last, next morning after my morning chores i left my home for work and zoomed to the passage and i stopped. now i was cautious and many things were running in my mind. may be i was ready for this may be not but i wanted to do this. so i decided to have a go.

After 500 meters i reached the same place at the same time and she was there. yes she was there at the window just like yesterday. she was there waiting for me , i knew she was waiting for me and i knew that she had also expected me to come by and because i had seen it in here eyes that she wanted me. i was happy . it seemed like my day had not begun without her , without her my day had gone lost. i thanked god for her being there at the window . that’s the kind of man i had become. i had emotions, i had love, i had become kind , i had soft heart inside a tough guy. it was an amazing change. i smiled at her and she smiled back. i was happy , we both were happy. this time i decided to take one step further, i made a note with my name in it and left it on the street. i was expecting it not to be there the other day. i had no clue where is the entrance to that window but i was happy this way as for now. and then i left.

Other day i followed the same passage to work and the note was not there , it was gone, so she knew my name now.  she was there again at the window looking at me. i waved to her gesturing that i admire her beauty and her being with me at this moment of my life where it all seemed frozen for me as there was no love in my life and she brought love into it.now it was a daily routine for me to go through that passage and not a single day i have found her missing. this continued like for more than a year amazingly and now i was restless to know her. i had know her name , i had to know her in person , i had to know her at any cost. i wanted to touch her and i wanted to kiss her. i wanted to make love to her but i had no idea how. i had no clue. this wait seems endless to me and to her. unfortunately in this fairytale story i never found her taking an effort to reach me and i was doing all the running. why should a man do all the work ? , sometimes its woman responsibility too. i had comfort my heart saying may be she was testing me. i had also decided since  i was a tough nut and i will not break down.

And then world war happened . the world was divided into two and there was a war . all seemed over for both of us. there were bodies , pain, crying all over the place, there was fire, flood, drought as people were hungry and all seemed lost at that moment. it was painful to see all that happening around me as i was about to begin my new life. i could not go to her passage ever again after the world war since everything in London was destroyed, i had no idea how to go to her since all i saw soldiers with automatic weapons all over the place. i was worried about her. was she alive or not ? is she dead ? is she still there ? i had no idea and i wanted to find out. i wanted to go to her but i could not. there were new rules and regulations after the world war which had divided the world completely. people had changed now, their mindset had changed, they had become different. they were more aggressive now and were itching to hurt others. there was no kindness , there was no love and there were no emotions. everything was over as this world had become cruel.

I never wanted to live in this kind of world and worried about her i had gone into depression since i could not reach her. i had fallen sick and due to my long illness i died. i still remember that when i was on my death bed i had picture of her in my mind. i had no body around me in my last moment as i was alone and she was the only one for me but i was at peace and i closed my eyes for one last time for forever.

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London , June 2009 

It was a beautiful summer day and i was getting ready to got to my college, i left my home in the morning like any other day. i like to walk so like any other day since my college was not far away from my place i had decided to walk. i had money for a car , for a cycle and for public transport but i had always enjoyed walking. may be it was a kind of morning exercise for me in the morning as it had always made me feel fresh on my way to college.

I came across a road from where i had to take left , this fateful day i had decided to take left i don’t know why , but i took left turn. i came across a passage on my way to left and yes i stopped , it seemed to me as time had frozen ,don’t know why . everything seemed stopped. it was a passage and it felt like i had walked this passage before. i had no idea why it was happening to me like this but it seemed familiar to me, have i been here before ? what is this place ? why this place seems to be so strange to me? do i know someone here ? thousands of questions came to my mind. i decided to walk and since exploration was the only way to find those answers. i turned left  and the right and then right again and left again. i came across a window on top right in front of me . it was there as i looked at the window i saw a woman who was there but she was painted as if she was waiting for someone for long. her eyes looked so alive as if she was there since ages for someone and her eyes were never been closed since then. she was very much alive. she was there at the window for someone and yes today her wait seemed over. everything from 1899 events came right in front of my eyes like a movie. that woman had never forgotten me, she was there waiting for me every day and every night . she was there for me hoping that some day i will come by again and will look at her and will smile at her. and this wait will seem over for her.

It was time for me to take my camera out of my bag to take my picture , yes i was still carrying my camera with me like before it was always with me. i clicked her and she got printed in my memory. i was happy and i was smiling , i came to her again. after more than 100 years i was there and she was still waiting for me and even today i want to know her name. i guess i will never know her name now but i don’t need to know her name. she is good enough to be without a name , she has got her own identity which does not need a name and recognition. She had been honest to me and committed to me and i had been the same to her.

This wait may have seemed endless but it had come to an end. it ended,  after more than 120 years. i was happy and she was happy to see each other again.