Shadow behind me


I am in a room, locked from inside.its a small room, with not much in has one sofa ,a television set but its not working,i don’t see anything in the room i should describe about in detail.all i see is the dark room.i am here right now,looking all around.walls are kind of worn off,looks like not been maintained for a long time.i don’t know what to do .i can’t think eyes,my eyes ! have i been sleeping till now ? i am asking myself but i don’t seem to get any answer because i have no idea how i got into this room.its amazing,i don’t even remember anything.seriously i don’t.can you help ? i need your help,hey i am asking you i need your help ! yeah no answer.i guess it was obvious not to get any answer.but why i am even saying this,may be i am just talking to myself,there is no one in the room only me oh yes i was indeed talking to myself.oh god what is this place,who got me here ? these question are killing me ,but i don’t seem to get any answer from anywhere.let me scream ,let me shout my heart out ,let me check if any one can hear me outside.

But wait i think its not a good idea,i should preserve my energy.i don’t how long i will have to stay here in this room,i don’t see any doors in it either.what’s the way out ? no windows no doors.hey wait there is something its a door,yes its a door.door but locked from inside ,i can see the lock hanging but where are the keys,where are the keys to unlock the door? i don’t see any keys around , I can’t see properly since its dark but still there is some glow in the room which let me scan. but I can’t figure out where this glow is coming from, its amazing, I am alone in this room but I don’t have sense of fear, its more like a puzzle to me than anything else. it looks like I need to solve a puzzle to go out of this room but I don’t seem to find keys and clues to solve this puzzle. may be I should walk around the room and at the corners to find some clues and to go out of this dark room ,which is certainly not a place for me.

I seems to find out a corner of the room , there should be three more like this. let me scan this area first, I will take one challenge at a time. let me go little more deep into the corner to check what I find here. hey I seems to find something , its a light and a lighter which I can use for my purpose. who put it here ? some one must have done it on purpose. is there anyone playing games with me ? looks like one. but why ? oh god! is this the kind of thing I saw in SAW movies ? no I don’t want that kind of thing. its not for me, certainly not for me, I don’t want to go through the kind of pain we saw in the film SAW. no certainly not. but let me light this light which I can use , its a blessing to me from some one.

Ok now , light is on and it works with oil , oil seems to be left in it on purpose also. now I can see better , my eyes can see better in the dark now. it looks like I can look in the corners better. I can scan this place and can find things in the dark corners. this seems to be solving purpose for me. let me walk around the room and let me get the feel of this place. this place has become a part of me now, I need to change this place and I will change myself , or is it ? am I thinking right ? or may be I should change myself and I will change the place around me which is dark . but I don’t have any hopes here since all I see is dark and this light don’t seem to be working forever , it will run out of oil soon and it will be dark again, that’s forever.

There is a television set in the room , let me go and check it out. its not working but may be I can make it work and see what happens. ok , its an old set , kind of 1970’s model but it should be working, this set is not here for nothing , it must have some relevance. it should have some importance. let me hit it and see if it works, I hit it once , twice and thrice but hey its not working. may be I am out of luck but its not for me , but may be I should try for one last time and see if it works, should I be this optimistic and hope to check if it works or not, it takes a very little effort to become successful and that’s defines a difference between a looser and a winner. may be I should define one for me now. let me hit it once again. hey ! amazingly it has started working , I see the television screen in power and its on now , its working indeed, after I was not a looser. but what am I supposed to do now ? should I wait for something to happen and till than I should watch shows on television ? should I not take any efforts to move out of this room and become relaxed and leave everything on my fate and just enjoy the television shows as I got one now to pass my time ? I don’t think its a good idea. but I should work with television a little to check what I can with it. oh well, it seems its not working since there is no connection so I can’t watch any shows. but guess what , the room is lit due to the power in the television , now I can see things more clearly and properly due to the light in the room from television, now I can understand the importance of television in the room. it was not there for me to watch the shows but to have more light in the room.

Now I can scan through the room in a better way and I can see that I have gained more confidence , I guess this is the power I wanted. a source of light which has given me more confidence , now I feel better and I know I have more strength than before. but what I should do now with this newly found strength ? should  I go through the door and see if I can open it ? may be I should do what I think is my priority . I see the door is locked from inside but I don’t have keys yet and at this place I don’t see keys anywhere. may be I should try my physical strength to open this door. but wait , what now ? the television set is switched off all of a sudden  and there is no light , everything back to where it was a while ago. its dark again and I do see the light which I had left in the corner. I can see it shining but why this now ? why and how the television set got switched off. it was working just fine. was it only there to instill confidence and strength in me ? which I have now . was it switched on only to give me hope in these hope less conditions ? I guess so , but I can feel I am more confident and strong than before when I was in the darkness.

Let me go and lift that light which I can use now . I have the light in my hand and I should go to the door to open it as soon as possible. its a wired place and its not for me I need to go out any cost. but wait it looks like there is someone inside with me in this room , and the something is behind me , I did not see anyone with me in this room , so this something is ? I have no idea and I did not feel any presence of some entity here. may be I should turn around and check if there is really some one here, but I don’t see anyone around. wait , it seems that something move as I move and changes its position and its big in size, I turn left ,it turn left , I turn right ,it turn right. is this thing playing games with me ? why ? sorry I am not interested in playing games right now, but thins don’t seem to leave me . its right behind me and do not allow me to see it.

Oh ! now I figured out , its my shadow , or may be I should say its me . its me indeed , my entity ,it my shadow, right behind me and I should not forget that it stayed with me from the beginning only I failed to realize it that it was with me at all time. in the dark or in the light it was with me . its my shadow to make feel that I was not alone in this room , my physical body had company , I was scared for no reason , I should not be scared when I know that there is someone with me to help me .

You know what , I was trying to find the key to open the door. my shadow was the key , now I know , I had to find my shadow to open the door, and now I have found my shadow , my entity , the door is open and now I can go outside to my world and yes not alone but with my shadow. no matter what leaves me in this world but my shadow my entity will never leave me, its always with me all the time in  my world or other world. its my shadow.

Fear is not REAL


I don’t know why but I have this phobia which can be called as water phobia ,now it does not mean that I don’t take shower or have any problem with water on my skin ,its not like this. when I say water phobia it only means that I can not stand against deep water or I get very scared of water when I see it from above through a window of an airplane or I see it from the boat if I am in the ocean. even when I see water images on screen or on television I get scared and it stays in my mind for a long time. everyone has phobias ,every one has their own fears. now fears are all of different kind, I don’t want to get into the technicality of fears since they are all science terms ,I can easily google the information and post it here about what phobias or fears are all  and the terms they are known in . but this is my blog , my thoughts and my emotions so I would rather write it in my own words then copying it from somewhere.

I have a friend who is scared of heights. he can’t go any near to the edge of a building or anywhere near to the tower to look below. but he is a very good swimmer and he loves water . on the contrary I have no problem with heights but I can’t go near to water around ocean or can’t do swimming since I see deep pool bed which gives me phobia. I want to swim in the pool and I know , me being an athletic guy I would love to swim since its a good exercise for a body . but still I can’t go to swim ,I don’t know what  stops me from doing what I want to do but I can’t go to swimming pool alone to swim. if I am in the group its alright for me , I will have people around me to help me swim which will give me motivation and strength to fight my fear but you asking me to go alone to the pool or even to the ocean , sorry I can’t do it.

fear1        Fear is the biggest enemy one can have . its something which stops us from doing what we want to do. even if we are self motivated ,strongly built and mentally tough but if we got fear in our mind we can’t do it . Fear of future , fear of unknown , fear of heights, water , spiders, insects, animals and others . there are so many fears you can count on. funny thing is that one of my friend who had once bad experience with dog when she was young , now has dog phobia, anywhere on the streets she see dogs she screams and you can feel the terror in her eyes, to me its funny and me being naughty I often play with it in humor but she know that I am there to fight for with her fear so she is cool with it . I love dogs and I do not have such dog phobia. why there would be such dog phobia ? dogs been friend to us for ages. but people are different and so as their phobias.

To me fear is not real . fear is a product of mind which we can easily make with over active thoughts or over visualization and by creating things in our mind which does not exists in real. to get out of fears its important that we take control of our thoughts and do not let them go wild. if thoughts go wild we will create images in our mind and it will develop fear of unknown. its easy to understand what I am trying to say here. we all have imaginations and we all have creative minds and it can make anything out of it. anything which does not exist.

For instances , there are people who have fear of open spaces. they can’t go to open spaces like a big playground or roof top or may be a big parking lot. now I know a guy who had interest in ufo’s and aliens and paranormal activities. he used to do research on these subjects and had seen images and video’s many times. now his condition is that he has a fear of open spaces. he can’t go to open spaces alone or even if he does he will always have fear in his mind which always stops him from doing things which he want to do. if in group he is fine but if you ask him to go to any such place alone , he will still go but with fear in his mind.

fearNow do not misunderstand me here , danger is real but not fear, here danger and fear are closely related. danger comes with fear not vice versa. when in danger one should be good enough to calculate or evaluate the danger and then take next action. fear is important here since fear lets us evaluate and it lets us decide what to do its very important to have fear in mind as it stops us from taking not required decisions.

Yes fear is not real . I do not have to go in detail on this one. its only a state of mind and the state of mind we are in decides our next course of action. if we can control our fear we can control our actions and there by creating our own destiny , I have always believed in creating my own destiny and believed in being a doer. yes things may not turn out to be as you want them to be always but you can be sure about controlling your own actions since they will decide the course of your life. as far as I understand that if I can control this water phobia of mine , I can always win over this fear and I can always go into the ocean or to the swimming pool without being afraid of the unknown ,something which is not there but in my mind.

Control your fears and you will control your actions.