The wedding Ring which I never gave you


Yes this is true . remember the day we met in September 2013 . its been four long years . but its still with me . this is what I was carrying in my pocket . I had this hiding in my pocket and I never told you about it in advance . I wanted to give this to you on the day of our meeting after 2 long years . I was kind of foolish who had hopes that you will accept my ring but I think I was right by not giving it to you . it was not the right time and not the right occasion . you were with someone else . you loved another man after me . there was someone else in your life. and I was aware about it .

I don’t know why I purchased this . I don’t know what I was thinking . I think I was confident that you will come to me , was confident that once you will see me you will change , I was positive that once we will meet things will turn good . I think this much how I pride our love and our sacrifices for each other.  the pain and the joy we went through together , the time we had spent with each other from 5000 km distance , every single day did not go by thinking about each other and when we both managed to had time for each other even when we knew there is a time difference . that was incredible . those days were amazing . can’t be forgotten . can’t fade from my memory . at least !

That day , I don’t remember the day but it was September 2013 . and I remember the café we met coz I had some fond memories of that café back in dec 2011 . it’s one of my fav place to visit. and I will visit again soon . I was very nervous that day . I was tensed and I had no idea how you will react to see me . coz I knew you never wanted me to visit you . I knew that you do not love me anymore . had no emotions , had no feelings. but I do not know why I had hopes that things can still change for good . I was with my friend that day , I asked her to drop me to the café. we travelled by train to reach there . I was nervous and tensed , she realized this and said , you be fine . don’t worry .

Once off the train she showed me the path way or street which leads to café. once I was there I knew my destination coz I had visited this place earlier and had good memories but I was still very nervous coz of your unpredictable nature. so I entered I gave my jacket at the counter and asked a woman that I had a friend who is waiting for me here . she pointed out in right hand direction from the stairs , I started coming down but I guess you had already heard my voice and here you were . you were there right in front of me . right there . you came for me and you hugged me . it was the moment when I felt like time stopped . I realized , this is the woman I fought so much for , with people , with government . all for what ? only for my love for her. I had given you my promise that I will fight this world for you . I still live this promise .

You hugged me . that was the warm hug I waited so long for . it was a moment which came after a long wait . all this fight which I fought in last 2 years was to have a moment of hug which did not even last for 5 sec and a meeting which last not more then 2 hours. but I think it was a fight worth fought . I had earned my moment with you . and here I was with you . it was my time . I had earned that time . yes you were unhappy to see me , you were angry . but I guess I had win coz you were there for me without your desires .I had pushed you to come and meet me and I still remember the text you had sent a day before saying that meeting is not a good idea so lets not meet but I being assertive wanted to meet and you had surrendered.

Its not about win or loose its about who honesty and loyalty and I think I scored on this well . coz I was loyal I was honest and trust me on this I am still the same .

I had this ring with me in my pocket which I had for you . I had plans to give it to you . but I knew I will not give it to you coz you will not accept it . I never gave it to you coz I still loved you and wanted to marry you . wanted to have kids and I wanted you to be my wife and mother of my babies , a dream which we had cherished for so long. I wanted to marry you . you were my baby. my love . but there was someone else in your life , some other man better than me I guess . you were also never the best for me . and you never will . no one is perfect . no one ever will. we all compromise somewhere or the other . and we both did, out of emotions , out of love we had for each other.

I had honest time with you that day , listening to you was the only thing I ever wanted. a lot had happened in your life after you left me . your brother got married and I was not invited , its ok . you had a car now a good job and you looked so lovely and charming ,just like good old days . you were still so young and beautiful . I wanted to say I love you , wanted to give that ring to you . but I knew this ring will remain in my pocket. so I kept it very close to my heart. conversation was over . it started formal but spending two hours with you I guess had some emotions in your heart for me so you were little close and then very close . I think it was the strength of my love for you. may be an unseen force. and I am sorry baby you paid for tea that day . I had my credit card with me but if you remember the console did not work and you had to pay cash , it was bad , I was not happy .

So we left holding hands just like old days, and I wondered love is the biggest force in the universe after time . I guess you honored the fact that we had honest and pure love for each other ,irrespective of being from different countries and had different languages and cultures . I think it was amazing .

I dropped you to your car. and I knew this is it , the time has come to part ways , those 2 hour or so were felt like 2 years passed by . I had waited patiently so long for this and it has come to an end. and I remember two hours ago you were not ready to kiss me but two hours later you kissed me . that was the power of love .

That day time had stopped for me and when I said good bye to you and saw your car going far and far from me I knew this day might not come again . but as always a fighter never gives up and fights till the end . and with hopes high I left , walking down the street back to the train station I came from.

Hiding the ring in my pocket which was meant for you and will always be yours.

I will always love you even when you are not young and beautiful , right now I am on a rescue mission , once this is over I will create my moment again , I will come back to you .

You know me .

-Dolce

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