The Deal

Its a small but very strong word. just like FUCK. now FUCK is the most popular word in the world and is the most used word in the world. we all know what it means but we use it for everything. even when we should not be using it but we use it.

Deal is somewhat less famous and less known word but still good enough to raise eyebrows. we know what it means . The Deal.

I am not afraid of the dark but I am afraid to go in dark places

Dark matter is black all black when you can not see anything not even your hands, all you hear is your deep breath , and you know you are alive or still alive . you walk across the cave full of darkness ,can’t see anything but you do know that there is a way ,way somewhere which leads to someplace or to something. but we do not know , what it is .

Its an unknown , we do not know what’s going to happen next , so we are scared of it. we do not know how to fight and how to tackle with it.

Fear of Unknown.

I decided and made a deal to myself that I will be scared of the dark and scared of the shadows. I made a deal to myself that I will have a fear of unknown coz this way I will be alert. and will take calculative steps . I am willing to take risks and I am willing to go all the way but I am not ready to risk my loved ones lives. I love them and I cant have them pay for the risks I take.

The deal to the shadows which are always with me . its the light which guides my shadows , I made a deal to it that I will not be afraid of you , if you are with me , either you are my enemy or my friend.

Few days ago I came from work in the morning at wee hours around 3 am . after all night work from the other day I was all tired and was ready to sleep. I had a glass of water and went to bed and closed my eyes. I was ready for sound sleep and was ready to go deep in my dreams. I sleep alone in my bed with no one around , in my room there is no space for anyone , its been like this for years now and I think I am not ready for another person in my room or may be I am , or may be I am bit confused.

So here I am in my bed ready to sleep tight . going through the thoughts of the day and suddenly I looked at the wall

I thought I was all alone , but I wasn’t I felt I see someone right next to me on the left hand side of my bed. I felt someone was there or is there . I tried to calculate in my mind how far this entity is. it appeared very close to me , very close , very close, right next to my shoulder. I got up and it also got up with me and then I stood

I was scared but I had the courage to stand , I wanted to counter my fear , I wanted to fight , I knew if I will not fight , I will never come to know if I will win or loose , should I loose but I am not ready to loose without fighting , I was ready .

I was ready to fight. .

I stood straight and looked at it , on the wall instead, I realized it was my shadow. my shadow a friend or foe I do not know but it was something. it was time for me to find out.

why there is no response from my shadow ? when I move it moves , if I am still it also still. it was strange , can I kill it ? I thought but may be I should not. you are my friend or foe or neither of those. but you are with me

I make a deal with you that I will not be afraid of you .

I made a deal .

-Dolce