Only Friend


Courage is a biggest asset one can have. confidence is also important but mere confident about something and doing nothing about it , is futile.

Look around you , you will see confident people , lots of confidence in them but when it comes to actions they give up. its because they don’t have courage in them to put confidence with action , lack of balancing an act to get fruitful result keeps them at bay from what they want.

Walk alone at night , without any friend , only you and your shadow but nobody else. try this every single night .

Or do you have courage to do it ?

Sleep less and take one step forward to go out in the dark and experience what others prefer to ignore. believe me its  beautiful.  

Is it one step forward to being courageous ? yes it is .

When all the chips are down and you feel low, when you feel like all alone in the world , when you think you are the only one who is being targeted, when you feel upset and  useless, when you think you can’t do anything to make things right and you have no body to love and no one to call as friend. ………………………………………………………………………….then my dear friend you walk alone !

Do walk alone because great people walk alone .

How would you find your own space in this over populated world ? space is there you only need to find yours.

I walked one night all alone on the deserted road with no one in sight, I walked alone along with my shadow when every body chose to sleep I walked all alone like a king , I walked on the shadows of the trees and the darkness was looking at me in awe. asking me ‘ Who is this human ? , got so much courage to battle with me ? indeed it was a battle , though I was alone but I felt like someone in company , yes , there was something which gave me courage enough to fight which I always wanted to avoid. a battle I always thought will remain unconquered.

Fight into darkness and me once had this feeling of unmatchable , I felt like unbeatable. who was with me ?

It was my moon . it was right there with me all the time , every second, every minute , every hour. it was with me. looking right at me and taking care of me and saying that don’t be afraid son I am with you all the time in this moment of darkness when  you walk alone , I am with you. don’t be afraid . I give you all the confidence you need, I give you all the courage you need, look at me once and you will feel strong and a sense to fight with unmatchable aura. just walk on and never stop , no matter how tough the path is , just walk on.

A journey of thousands miles begins with one small single step . you take that one step and you will take another and another and another and believe me by the time you will realize how many steps you took , you will reach your destiny .

Your strength is unmatchable . you are strong beyond imagination. you control your destiny and you make your own luck.

What is behind you and what’s ahead of you is no match to what is in you. you use this to its full capability , believe me there is no one to stop you.

Do what you have been ignoring all this long . do what you have been always wanted to do . do what you have been always scared to do . don’t be in the shell. think out of the box and open your horizon , believe me this world is huge and small ,scary and lovely , violent and full of love , its in the attitude . you change your attitude trust me you will change this world. but don’t go out to change this world . it will never happen. start change from you . change will take place around you .

You create your own universe, your own world, your own colony, your own kingdom. you are the king and queen of your destiny.

Why leave it on others and why others decide what you want and what you don’t want ?

Its your life , you decide what you want to do , its your choice and your dreams ,your desires and your path of action.

The only friend you have is the one who is always there for you . who always keep an eye on you and watches you from distance , yes from distance and its always there.

Try to make moon your friend and believe the strength and courage it gives along with confidence is unmatched and it works . it works for me ,it will work for you too.

Don’t take the strength of moon for granted , its very strong , stronger than any human on this planet , its only modest and don’t show off. we should appreciate the shine it gives to our planet and it looks just so beautiful , it makes me feel beautiful.

Try once , it will make you feel beautiful as the most beautiful human on this planet. it watches you all the time.

————Dheeraj Gautam

12 Roses


A man in love with a woman used to deliver roses to a woman. every single day in the morning he reached her home to deliver one rose as gesture that he loves her. woman on the other hand wasn’t too impressed with this act since she knew that the roses will go bad after few days and it won’t have the same charm anymore. man knew this too. he knew that the red roses which he was delivering will worn down after sometime and will not hold same charm and fragrance. but he was determined not to stop his act and continue with roses every single. after sometime woman too started taking him for granted and he lost his value in her eyes. every morning a red rose was like a news paper delivered to her to which she used not to pay too much attention. man too realized the same that he has lot value and importance in her eyes. he knew that though his act was for love and care but too much of it has made things bad.

His self esteem was hurt and he had to re ignite same level of charm. but he had no clue how to do it. he loved a woman so much. he decided to do an act one last time. he got a bunch of 12 red roses with a note and delivered it to a woman and left. woman kept those 12 roses in a vase ,she found a note with it which has his number to contact and the note reads ”I will wait for you because honestly I don’t want anyone” .

After this day that man never came to her. she waited and waited and waited for him but he never came. woman became restless. she wanted to call him but she was uneasy. life without him had become difficult for her. she had to know where he was ? she had to know how he was ? she wanted answers. the other day she was doing household chores and all of a sudden her eyes got caught on the red roses. all the red roses had worn off except one. she went near to the rose and took it in her hand and she found out that it was a fake rose which really looked like a real red rose. now she had to call him to know why he had put one fake rose in 11 real red roses.

She called him , man picked up the call. she couldn’t say a word ,she kept mum. but the man knew who was on call. he said, ”I know you want to know why I had kept one fake red rose with a bunch of real 11 roses”. she said ”yes” . man replied ” because I knew that those red roses will loose its charm and fragrance after some days but a fake one will stay alive forever , since I never wanted you to forget me I decided to put that one in the group and you will remember me as long as that fake rose is with you. that rose will never die.”

Man disconnected a call after this since he had nothing to say now. woman had gone restless and she wanted him to come to her. she had begin to realize his importance and she felt how foolish she was to let that man go.

Man will return to her, if she wants him to return to her. he is ready for her. but man wants her to know his value and importance.  he took support of that fake rose only to make sure that she know that she is important to him and he realize her value. though he took help of fake thing but with real emotions and real sentiments.

Fake red rose was not fake to her anymore , it had become way important than all those real red roses which had worn off.

Me and The Night

Once again on the lookout, a mystery, a dark matter , choice, hope , when the world choose to close its eyes I open mine and see what the other’s can’t see. I take one step further and make an effort to find an unexplained , to find a question to get an answer , to make a choice to have that change, to walk towards an unknown only to find something new.

—– Dheeraj Gautam

Be Kind


At my work , the other side of the road there is a tea vendor, he is an old man with small tea shop on four wheels. he has regular customers. office goers , young old corporate people go to him for morning tea or evening tea. he cooks tea well , honest and loyal to his customer. I don’t know his name but I call him ‘kaka’. ‘kaka’ in Hindi is a name to an old man in respect. he often wears same clothes every day from morning to evening. he do not have enough clothes to wear since he is poor. I don’t know if he has kids or not , may be he does but they never accompany him at his tea stall. he takes care of his business alone. at night around 10 pm he leaves and put his tea stall at the parking lot of one multi million dollar company. the security guards of this company are quite generous to him to make him leave his cart at the parking lot.

This man comes to work at 6 am and leaves at 10 pm , he is an old man close to 60 years, but he is kind to every one , to his customers , no matter what conditions he works under , he never forgets his responsibility which is to be ‘kind’ to everyone.

Care_MONO         But he is not alone . he also have a pet dog which stays with him around the cart. its a street dog , not owned by anyone. a stray dog which strays around the streets for food. dirty but healthy dog. of course street dogs never take shower. so this dog is no different. he has a name too ‘ KALU’. ‘KALU’ in Hindi means black. this dog black in color is famous among people. he kind of invite people to come and drink tea. those who are kind to animals, give their love and support to the animal. in appreciation kalu also wags its tail and bark and play around people. sometimes people too offer him biscuits. its a sweet gesture and kind tale which I see every day at work. it makes my day and makes me think that human instead of being violent in nature does have the kindness in him. its the choice we make ‘we kind or we violent’ its our call what we choose and we get as what we deliver.

Kindness is a way to life. its a choice we make to be a kind person and it helps us to communicate better. human in general is more attracted to kindness. people who are kind have always invited more people in groups and are socially active. some people are kind by nature and some can cultivate this habit in them. it comes by practice. you practice kindness by being showing love and support for others. you become kind by taking an extra step to help someone. caring genuinely for others around you knowing that others too have the same kind of aspiration, goals, fears , needs and wants. its important to know that feeling the way how other’s feel is an important act to kindness because then you will know the true value of how it feel if you will go through the same.

Lets also be aware of people who carry fake kindness. an act of people pleaser is not kindness. there are plenty who are selfish and self centered. who simply kind enough to people to manipulate things and controlling them is not an act of kindness. people also use fake kindness to hide their anger and frustration behind false pleasantries is not kindness. anyone who fakes it makes himself / herself visible to people and we can recognize it. we humans are programed in such a way that we can easily guess who is faking and who is natural. lets beware of such dual personalities who make of use if their charm only to get benefit out of others. lets not be selfish this much , lets be kind to others naturally.

Its good to be kind to others but lets not forget that you too are human. I am kind man but its important for me to be kind to myself too. before I be kind to others I should be kind to myself. how I do it ? its good to know yourself better , self realization is important , no one knows you better than any other on this planet. if there is any one who claims that he / she knows everything about you , is wrong. its simply not possible to know everything about anyone. there has to be some aspect of personality which only you know about yourself but others don’t. know yourself everyday. sometimes it happens that one trait of your personality which you are unaware of accidently comes into picture and then you say ”gosh ! I did not know about this factor in me” . self knowledge is important , it allows you to study your pain and happiness ,sorry and anguish and your conflicts, it also lets you know that part of your personality which you are not aware of. focus on yourself and be kind so that you be kind enough to others.

51898530db89bkindnessWe often say that ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. but tell me how many people follow this rule ? very few right. yes indeed this is because people lack action , its because people only talk and talk all the way till its too late to do any action. so lets be present for someone who need us the most. lets make sure that we are there at all cost for the person you care the most , you love the most. if not for the one you can die ,at least you can do the same for someone who is a stranger to you by only being kind to him / her. this person will remember you always and who knows if he / she shows kindness to you also someday. help a person , go an extra mile to take further step and to make sure that you will be there. don’t make promises which you can not keep. remember you can not control everything. but you can control your actions , your words, you can control your decisions. be little calculative to understand the consequences and aftermath. be a good listener. its one of the most important aspect of being kind. listen to people , know their words and their values, understand them and then take actions and be kind.

The act of kindness come with no expectations. lets not expect people to be kind to you. in a world we live today if you are being kind to others ,its unusual. since people don’t do it regularly. but don’t think of how others are thinking of you for being kind. its an act which should always be there in us. no matter what , an act of kindness should come from inside. its source should be our soul. it should be without expectations. ask for nothing in return.

Lets not be selective in kindness. if you are neglecting being kind to someone just because you think that person will do fine without you, then you are doing selective kindness. lets not do this. lets not be selective and choose people ,whom should be kind with and whom we should not is not right. we should be kind to everyone the way we want to be to ourselves. lets not forget that same person does have fears, insecurities , problems, sorrow, pain , ambitions and goals. lets respect it and take kindness the way it should be.

Being kind is a special quality we humans are born with. we all have sense of kindness but its again comes down to what we choose. do we choose to be kind to ourselves and others or choose to be violent and control. its in our hands. but remember this always, you harm others , it will come to you , you love others it will come to you. you want kindness from people show kindness to them. you will be loved by all.

Someone said I have very sweet and kind personality . I don’t know how much is the truth in it but if it is like this then its my identity. we can never loose our identity no matter where we are. enjoy you originality like I am enjoying mine.

When Passion fights Love


Present Day , Chicago , USA

I am is __________ . its not important ! , age ____ .  its  not important either . me , standing right here in the middle of the boxing ring. till yesterday I had madding crowd cheering over me , till yesterday I had my entire crew motivating me, till yesterday I had lot of money in my bank account, I had fame, luxury , everything in the world a man can asked for, till yesterday I had one lovely wife with one beautiful daughter, till yesterday I was everything I can be.

Things have changed now.

Yesterday I won my first Boxing championship. I am a champion , you pick up today’s news paper you will see my name with my belt and my picture on the front page. you will see the list of contracts and the endorsement companies which are ready to sign me and want to use me to make millions. my tough face and tough body is strong enough to take any pain as it took enough during my boxing career. my image as a family man has inspired others to become tough to face the rough circumstances with confidence. I am a simple man down to earth and I have great fan following.

father-and-daughter-paulo-zerbato          But why this has become important for me that you know this ? only because my life has become a paper without a word ,since someone who has used me to write its world on it , is not here anymore. so what’s the point of having all this when there is no one close to you to share. this world has become a business for me , people are around me not because they love me but because they love themselves and its their selfishness which allow them to use me for their benefit and so far they have been successful.

My story ,oh yes my story may be I should not tell you. or may be I should tell you since I am celebrity and may come good to some gossip magazine to publish and make another millions from it. may be I should publish my story on my website. may be I should not do anything. I don’t know.  I don’t know how I think and what should I do , I am clueless and i am on the edge, yes on the edge ,no where to go , can’t go back in time and can’t go forward , it seems as if everything has stopped.

How does it matter to you ?

Yes i am a boxer and its my passion. this should matter to you.

I was happily married to one lovely wife who used to take care of me. it was a love marriage and i was happy with her and she was happy with me. we were together for the past 4 years and we had so much love between each other. after 4 years of love we decided to marry and decided to stay together forever. it was mutual decision since we both trusted each other and had faith that we will never leave each other. we had so strong bonding. we married and decided to make our new world from the beginning , the kind of world we wanted for ourselves and for our children. she was educated and mature in thoughts which had always impressed me. me being a brat in attitude she was always there to make things right and to make them favorable. she was always there for me. i had a regular job from 9 am – 5pm which i was doing with decent pay scale, nothing flashy. it was good to have good lifestyle, if not luxurious. i only wanted a happy home . to me a happy family is of husband wife , one daughter and son and a dog and one small beautiful home. this is something which has been a definition for me for a happy family.

Father and Daughter walkingAfter a year my wife gave birth to a beautiful daughter , i was a father for the first time in my life and it was an amazing experience , now i had responsibilities more than before , i had a wife and daughter to take care of, my daughter was lovely. she was so charming and so vibrant. at birth for the first time when i holded her my arms. she grabbed my finger with her so tiny arms. it was so lovely , my eyes were wet and my wife was smiling as she felt emotions between me and my daughter. i decided not to leave my daughter ever , me her father has to be always there for her , she needs me , i need to make sure that her father makes his presence till his last breadth.

We came home like one happy family. we cooked food and slept. me being a passionate lover , I have always given pure love to my lovely wife. she had always endured the fact that me being so masculine has always empowered her with inner strength and passion. i have always loved her every day and every night and leaving her asking for more, she  has given me pleasure. it was no better life i had asked for , passionate wife with one passionate husband and one lovely daughter. life was happy.

Gradually as i started taking responsibilities things started feeling like every thing is less around me, i wanted more , i wanted more than what i have right. to give better life to my wife and to my daughter it was important for me to strive for best as i was able to do so. i had to use my every drop of blood to make sure that my wife daughter breathe easily. though they were not asking for anything but me being a man had to go and get more. it was my love for my family which motivated to go for more than what we have now. so i decided to take a step and not to stop.

imagesCAWDP2YU           I had one passion , painful passion of boxing. boxing , being my favorite sport had always invited me to boxing ring. but i was a strong man and regular to gym so it was easy for me to become a boxer . all i wanted , a training to enhance my skills in boxing. to become a better boxer. i had to bring that tough ness in me which boxers have. may be my wife will not like my idea of being a boxer, but the idea was to make them happy and to bring more money to home to bring more happiness and to bring more more and more. i had made up my mind and there was no looking back for me.

I joined boxing coaching classes and used to take it in the evening after work. i had sacrificed my time with my family to make sure that i get what i wanted . after all, i had to take pain to make my and my loved ones life better tomorrow. i took tough training in boxing and i remember i was changing. there was a change in my attitude. now there was less smile on my face and my body language had become tough. less laugh , no fun and less love to my wife. all the time i was thinking about my passion and to get more. i think i did little too much and failed to keep balance between passion and family life. i guess i was making a mistake and i did not realize it that time. i hope if i had but it wasn’t so.

One day one of my friend at work asked me about my boxing classes. I told him its going fine , he said do you know how to make money from boxing ? I said yes , I will join some club and will participate in boxing matches and will make money like that. he said No ! you will have to prove yourself that you are good enough to take pain more than you give, if you can take the beating and still stand tall ,you will win. I said alright , what I have to do to prove myself ? he gave me an address of an underground boxing club which used to take place at downtown Chicago. I decided to submit my application to take part in the boxing matches. after few weeks , day of my first boxing match came. my opponent was very strong . in the first look he looked like a winner. but I was too iron steel will man. no one betted over me but I knew if I will give everything into it I can win. this is the moment I was waiting for and its my night. I gave my all into the match and it was a close fight. I won the bout and it was happened to be my first bout. after the first win it was straight 6 losses to me. but I never gave up and kept on loosing. but I some how managed to catch people’s attention and I was the talk of the town. not because I had lost 6 straight matches but because of the ability to take pain. I had made my way to the right people but this came with the sacrifice in family life.

I had to participate in the first ever underground boxing championship and it was a knockout tournament with no prelims ,only one to one bouts and the one who wins the fight go one step further and the one who looses go home. interesting format and I was ready for it. fortunately I won my all the bouts and made it to the top. a night before my final match , I could not sleep at home , I went to my daughter’s room while she was sleeping. I sat right next to her looked at her lovely face and small body which I wanted to take care of, I thought this the person I am fighting for and I love her . she was my daughter. I went to my room , my lovely wife on bed sleeping. I saw her sleeping and may be dreaming about something , I don’t know what it was. but she was at peace. I was happy. I kissed her , touched my lips to hers. gave her a butterfly kiss. thought this is someone I can die for. I love her so much and I can’t live without her and what ever pain I am taking for her , Is the pain I don’t regret for. after pain there is always a happiness as life do become nice and easy. I was ready for this , I had to give this life to my family .

tumblr_mkasabuJFV1qiczueo1_1280My wife knew that I am going for a fight the day when I had a fight. I ate my breakfast kissed my wife and daughter and left for the finals. I did not call my wife that day and I knew that she was anxious and uneasy as what will going to happen. so I decided not to contact her and waited till evening for the fight. In the dressing room I slept peacefully till evening after the training session. at 5 pm I woke up ,took shower and got ready  to fight. it was 5 minutes to fight when I had to leave my dressing room. I was ready ,this is the moment I was waiting for , this was the time I had been dreaming about. I had to give it all , not only for myself but for the people I loved , my family , my wife and my daughter. I had always thought about giving them good life and this was the time when I had to give my shot to make it all happen, this was the moment which had to decide a break up or make up. it had to happen tonight. I left the dressing room to be in the boxing opponent was strong, but I knew that I am better than him , I was faster than him , I was more advanced than him in fighting techniques, I was able to take more pain than him. five round fight was about to happen in 10 seconds. I looked deeply into my opponents eyes. I said to him in mind ” that I respect him for what he is , I respect him for his power and strength, I respect him for all he has given up to become a world champion, I respect him for his love to his family but tonight is not the night where he will emerge as winner, it has to be my night and I am more stronger than him tonight, I am more deadly than ever I have been”.

After 5 rounds of deadly fight we both were in the pool of blood. it was a fight to remember for both of us. it was a night to remember. crowd had witnessed an amazing war between two strongholds. it was a live broadcast on local television and had media all around. I knew it was my night , my moment , I was on the top of the world. why ? yes I was a winner. I emerged as a winner in an underground boxing championship. I was the strongest on this planet , I felt like a king. I won a prize money $ 5 million. I knew this is what I wanted to give my family a better life. I wanted to give them everything in the world they had ever wished for. I had it now and it was time for me to share it with my family.


I was in pain as my ribs were broken and my jaw was dislocated. my head was aching  but all this pain was small when I  knew that the pleasure of seeing my daughter and wife at home is unmatched. so after the treatment from the doctors at the location , I went straight to my home to see my wife and daughter. I was impatient to see my family as soon as possible and to share this news with them that I had won. I reached my door. I was about to ring the bell but I stopped , because I saw a rose at the door , a red rose, I remember this one .this was the rose I gave it to my wife when I proposed her. why it was here now ? I had no clue. the door was unlocked and open , I went inside, I called my wife and daughter but there was no one to answer. I looked all around but the home was empty . it looked like that my wife had left home with my daughter. she was gone. I had family no more. she was not there, she someone I loved , had left me with no reason. or may be there was a reason which I failed to understand but she was not there , it was a reality.

Shadow_Boxing_590_full          My wife had taken all her clothes along with my daughters. she had taken all her things as if she will never return. but why did she do that ? where I went wrong ? was I wrong in my approach ? was my attitude wrong ? was I too selfish ? was I too greedy ? did I neglect my family ? I had no answers. I guess I was left alone to do some analysis of the situation . I guess I was left alone to realize that what I have lost to gain another. to realize value of what I don’t have now may be was an idea. but I was alone . I had no one to share it with anyone , the joy , the pleasure, all this pain I took and the torture I had gone through for being away from my family . I had no one to understand that, I had to deal with it alone now. I have everything in the world today , at this moment, but I don’t have , what happens to be most precious to me. my people , my wife and my daughter. they were gone. where ? she never left me a note. does she expect me to find her ? my be not. I will not go searching for her. if I am important to her , she will come to me again. I want her to know that I loved her the most and I still and always love her the way I loved her for so many years. she is mine and will always be mine. she will come to me I know , when ? I don’t have a clue. I am hopeful that she will return to me. she will. I love you baby . I will always love you.

In the fight of Passion and Love I don’t what won , I guess whoever won but I had lost, I lost !