Month: August 2011

you are not happy

Dheeraj GautamLeave a comment

I love her so much but i have been very selfish.i love her from the bottom of my heart but i have been very irresponsible,i love her so much that i keep on thinking about her but even then  i don’t take actions.

She know that how much i love her. she know i don’t even think of any other woman but her. she know that i am going to be with her only,i am one woman man, which makes her happy but even then why she is unhappy ?

The problem is with me or with all those men who are like this.any woman is man’s biggest strength then why do man fail to realize its importance.

Universe decided our fate already that we are destined to be together.but are we really ? if things go like this probably we will never be together.i am in love with her but she is so far ,even then our love is still alive.still has a spark which can ignite it to the new high.so happy to have you with me baby.so happy to be a part of my life.but why i make u upset all the time ? may be i am not worthy for you ,may be i am not good enough for your love,may be i am not strong enough to fight against all odds to get you.but this is not true.a true lover is the one who fights for his love.who kicks this world to be with his only love ,a woman he loves all this time to be with her to enjoy this moment.

I am your true lover honey. i just wana be with you, i can’t even think of any other woman but you.ever since i met you its only you in my mind and in my heart.i have always said that you brought love in my life again.there was a time when i was alone and lonely after my break up with my then girl friend who i thought will marry.but i guess universe had something else to offer.its no coincidence or luck that we got each other.it was here since the beginning.every step i took in my life was slowly and slowly taking me to you.every thing i did ,every step i took was it to lead towards you.its still ongoing and it will never end.its a journey which not only me and but you too will have to complete.we will go together on this journey.

Men does take actions which makes their women unhappy.men can’t live with women can’t live without them either.i can’t do without you either honey.i just can’t.i know what’s killing you from the inside and i also know its the same which is also killing me from within.i wish if i could tell you what i wanted to tell you but this is not the time , this is the time to let you know,when the time is right you will know.

Every men when takes some action ,he takes it for a reason.he takes with a purpose.some of the actions he takes may get failed some he wins.some of his actions makes his woman happy some unhappy.it depends what”s the ratio of his actions which makes her happy or unhappy.if the actions he takes which makes his woman happy is more than those which makes her unhappy ,its still alright ,a woman can live with it.what about when a man takes actions which makes his woman mostly unhappy.there is a problem.there is a problem indeed.either with  a man or with his actions.

I don’t want to tell my woman that what i am or what i can do since at the end of the day it all comes down the actions you take.have i took any actions which had made my lady happy. i guess no.god is watching and he will punish me when the time is right.i am already getting punished by god.but i will not let my girl getting punished by me. i will not let any pain,sorrow come near her.i will fight really hard to make her happy to give her what she deserve,The best.

Baby you are mine and i am your’s.i wana give you the best in life.i want to give you the most out of life.but i am also human.i guess i should think that i am a super human so that i come down on to the level of humans.

I am not your dream man honey .perfect human don’t exist on this planet , they just don’t.but may be i will be strong enough to be with you as someone who loves you perfectly.i am only your’s and you are mine.i love you the way i loved you ages ago.i will love you forever the way i loved you this far. we have been together for so long now ,there is no room for error or doubt that how deep is our love for each other.but we both are humans ,the day one of us patience run out ,its going to end of our love story.both of us will suffer deeply.both of us will cry together both of us will go deep into the darkness.

Your man is strong baby , your man is with you always.but you are not happy.

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when no one falls

Dheeraj Gautam1 Comment

When was the last time you fought for your honor ? when was the last time you survived an attack ?when was the last time you had an accident when others died and you survived ? plane crashed ,passengers died but one person was fortunate enough to live to tell about it . was it you ? the last time when you got lucky ,you won a million dollar .who was he ?

Think you are an extremely lucky person on this planet ? think again ? there is no such thing as luck. luck does not exist .even then we humans are fool enough to talk about luck.you must have heard people saying ” hey i make my own luck “, ” he got so lucky all of a sudden “, ” poor fellow was so unlucky to have lost every thing in life ” .

No this is not how you describe the events which always takes place in your life in and out.

Luck is just a word which can only be describe as an expression of what have happened in our life.there is no such thing luck.its just another word from the great English language ,just another word in the dictionary. just another way to describe our own self and we do this all the time. all we talk about is luck.things go wrong with us ,we never blame ourselves we blame our luck.we loose jobs,homes,property,we encounter problems in relationships, we get financial problems,medical issues.here or there luck always comes in between and we never blame ourselves.we always blame luck.

How can you blame something which does not even exist ? you simply can’t.

May be we humans are not advanced enough to talk about luck ,may be we are not strong enough to face the reality without luck,may be we don’t want to change the course of our life since we leave it on to luck.we let our luck decides the shape of our lives.we talk like ” i never did anything ,its my luck, i got lucky or i got unlucky ” . no you don’t get lucky or unlucky you just reach where you supposed to be.

You don’t get lucky or unlucky you just reach where you supposed to be.

What i am trying to say here is our actions which we take in our present lives decides the course of our life,how our life is going to shape up in the future is completely dependent on what we do at the present very moment.this is what decides the outcome of our actions.luck stands nowhere in it.infact its not even in the picture , it does not exist.

It does not require a rocket science to understand luck ,it just need little deep thinking or may be thinking out of the box.little thinking out of the normal which people mostly say abnormality but humans are like that we can’t accept change that easily ,we can’t accept new thoughts that easily ,it takes time for us to adjust to new innovative ideas which can simply  change the world we live in.

Humans have this in their nature ,an attitude to fight.we fight for almost everything.you name it and we always try to get it fighting.tons of wars been fought in the past in pursuit to become supreme.those wars have changed the course of this planet.now that’s just not luck.it happened because we humans wanted it to happen.

When a baby is born he has no sense ,he has no idea about what’s going on around him.he just remains in himself.as he grows up a little a fighting spirit starts gaining strength in him.now this goes to every single man on this earth.every single person born is instilled with fighting attitude.how long you can go on fighting depends on individuals.some fight more and some fight less.but when they fight one should fall down.but what happens when both don’t give up and keeps on fighting.both can’t be winner ,winner is only one ,only one wins is the man who called as winner ,if there is a winner there has to be a looser.

when no one falls ,things have to become complicated.two warriors fight till death ,its not luck which brings them together to fight at this very moment but because they choose it to.life is fight and fight is life.no warrior has ever won without a fight.we can’t simply say that the world has come this far just because of sheer luck.humans along with this living planet earth together have come this far only because humans choose to fight,we say humans choose to stay together but still fight till the end and to never give up.to never shine without a fight ,to never back down.

when no one falls the journey continues.this is not luck ,this is where we supposed to be ,this is because no one has fallen.

My Samsung Galaxy s2 I9100 and Acer Laptop

Dheeraj GautamLeave a comment

You know something strange things happens to me.life is just so unpredictable but it gives me nice surprises.it happens to me when i least expect it to happen.but it all depends on what step i take.i take my decision and thinks its gona pay off and it does ,most of the time.it happened to me in london also. when i was still a student doing my course in film and video production ,enjoying tough but free life in london under the snow ,rain and cloudy weather most of the time . Ah !!  i miss it so much.so yes , i was doing my usuall routine,going to college and then home ,college and home.what i noticed that most of the students were carrying laptops with them.some of them had netbooks to use in the class room.we had wifi connectivity through out the premises to enjoy internet.but unfortunately i had no such tool to work on the internet.so most of the time i had to be dependent on the lab kiosks and above all had to wait for my turn to do browsing.but anyways i never cribbed about it but yes it was troublesome.

I also had this desire to buy a laptop on my own.i wanted to have this machine which looks really cool in your hands and there were so many options for me to choose from.it was not a requirement for us to carry laptops at the college but if we wanted to take notes and do net surfing at the same time , it was useful.so i also decided to buy a laptop.but the biggest question was, do i have enough money in my pocket to buy one? how much its gona cost me ? should i buy one or should i skip ? is there any real need to buy this machine ? tons of questions were playing in my mind.but i was still not confused , i was just scared.i was thinking of my future though i was living in the present but i was just thinking, if i will buy a laptop now for close to 600 £ ,how much its gona affect me in future ? because surely i will run out of money once i will invest this much of amount on laptop.

On so many occasions i went to Currys ,HMV or Apple stores to look at the laptops or say for window shopping.but that’s all  i was doing ,a window shopping.i used to felt so helpless coz i had very less money ,not enough to buy a laptop for myself.i was still a student ,not working full time to make 1000 £ a month. whatever i was earning as a student working part time was good enough to survive in london,to pay my rent,to pay for my transport and for food.not good enough to buy something this expensive.

But i had already decided that i will buy a laptop for myself and that too with my own money and on my own.i knew lot of sacrifices needed to be make in order to buy one since its not coming any cheap.lots of adjustments needed to accumulate money.i was ready for this pain because i knew that the outcome of this pain will make me happy immensely.so i started using bus transport instead of tubes or u can say london underground train.i ate less ,once in a day to save more money on food.i did’nt do any shopping on clothes from Primark which is london’s most reasonable retail chain.i worked more during my christmas vacations and during my college after hours to make more money.in the process i became weak and it was showing on my body.my friends told me dheeraj you have lost lot of weight,what’s going wrong with you ? i used to reply back with a smile ,” i am loosing something to gain something “.No gain without pain.it was tough going for me.because i had lost my health immensely.close friends of mine were worried about me .some of them even offered me food on my birthday as my birthday present ,it was such an honest gesture.but i knew i am doing this for a purpose ,for a reason which i am gona achieve.

Slowly and slowly within six months i accumulated close to 600 £ in my bank account.i was so happy to have this much money with me which i could use it anytime i want.i always wanted to buy an Apple laptop but i knew it gona cost me a way lot more than what i have with me. i also went to stores to do research.the cheapest one available in the market was 750 £ .still 150 £ more than my account balance.i shifted myself to windows laptops.i have been big fan of windows operating system.so i decided, let me buy windows its good too.why i was so keen to buy apple laptop because i was into film and video production and apple laptops supports video editing and sound designing.but to buy a strong machine to support video production ,i really had to look beyond 1500 £ ,which was out of my strength.

I thought ,let me buy windows laptops and i will install windows operated video editing and sound designing tools ,there are so many of them available.so i decided a day to buy a laptop with the amount of money i had in my bank.

It was saturday.i woke up early , it was chilling but i had this excitement to buy a laptop today.but i still left in the afternoon.i went to Goodge street shopping stores which had all the electronic equipements available.i browsed some of the stores , said no to them and stopped by one store.i got my hands on Acer laptop with very high configuration for the price of 500 £ . it was a good bargain and i was so happy.jumping up and down ,i had owned a laptop now.i called my father immediately to let him know that i bought a laptop.

I never thought i will buy a laptop in london under tough conditions,when things were very easy for me in india i never bought one.buying this Acer laptop which i am still using and which is close to my heart has tested me to the hilt.i knew that making sacrifices for the cause or for a purpose will give me fruitful results later.thats what had happen with me and it was one of those days when i was feeling very proud of myself.

This Acer laptop of mine has played an extremely crucial role in my relationship with my lady love named Alexandra.oh i love her so much.(muaah muaah ) 🙂

Something similar happen to me again here in mumbai ,india.

I always wanted to have best things in my bag.i wanted to have best life which i can enjoy with my loved ones.we are in the fourth generation of technology where everything is coming in small sizes.which takes more use of technology and takes more money from the consumers pocket to use it.

I badly needed one good smart phone to use ,where i can find everything in one device.i had gone through some options but it was tough to make my choice coz there were so many.which one was the best of all ,it was a tough call to make.since all of them were equally good.

I thought may be i should buy HTC .HTC has come up with some amazingly good looking Android based smartphones.i also spoke to my girlfriend about it and told her the phone i am going to buy would be HTC desire hd or HTC incredible or may be HTC sensation.

But out of no where i came across Samsung Galaxy S2 advert online and i browsed through the features. i loved it. i simply loved it.i decided to buy this smartphone. i watched youtube video’s , read reviews ,came to know that this mobile device been termed as the best smartphone in the world.but it comes for a price tag of 32 000 rs which is a lot of money for indian market for a mobile device.

Call me crazy , i wanted to have best so i got the best .may b like my girlfriend always says universe is listening,at that moment universe might have heard me and i bought this device for the price of 30500 rs from the mobile store.i am very happy with it ,it keeps me organize ,lots of stuff at my disposal ,internet connection keeps me in touch with my baby all the time (muaah muaah ) 😉

what else i need !!?

I believe in long term investment.i bought this device only because i know its gona help me in long term.most of the people said why had you bought cell phone this costly ? i only said ,i bought it because i wanted the best.and there i have the best smartphone in the market.i own one now just like the way i owned my laptop in london under tough conditions.

Life is tough ,its always been and it will be always. but it should not stop you having the best out of  life.there are so many things which can make your life easy ,organize and happy ,world is way ahead now . we are gaining new heights in technology ,though it was supposed to make our lives but rather it has become more and more complicated.but man will never stop.so we should always keep pace with time and technology and make our life more and more the way we always wanted it to have.a fruitful and joyful life.